"Bye! Sorry we couldn’t meet, but I hope we see each other soon again."
A friend is leaving Jaipur today. She’s been an integral part of Kythera Jam sessions and some crazy ass discussions. And I felt bad that we couldn’t align our timelines to meet each other as she migrates and settles in a new city and finds a new tribe of her own. And I’ve grown used to this – people moving away – but it’s always leaves a sour taste behind. End of an era if you can call it.
There are always words that remain unspoken when someone leaves. Gratitude you’d like to show. Sadness that you’d like to express. Clarifications that you’d like to make. And even anger if that’s in there. Because if not done we might regret them someday, I know I would. I know I’d feel guilty of not opening my heart when I should’ve. And I’d feel bad that I’ll lose a friend/family.
Ideally I want to say it directly to them, but sometimes there are things that I want to share but not directly to them. Sometimes I just want to let it out of my chest, hoping that they’d understand. Hoping that somewhere, someday they’ll hear it from someone else and reach back.
So many sometimes and somewheres and somedays. I know it’s just wishful thinking, but it is how it is. I can force myself through it, but this is the reality usually. And they are recurring thoughts and feelings, everytime a friend moves away, a relationship breaks down, a family member passes away….
I hope it reaches them and this wishful thinking comes true.
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