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What Works for You?

It was and is interesting to see what works for people and what doesn’t. I met two friends the past week, who I literally was meeting after an year. And it almost felt like we were just meeting the next day. I mean there was no awkwardness, no weird, confused, overpowering thinking like

….if we should meet or not

….or do they even want to meet me or is it just an obligation

…..or feeling guilty as to not staying in touch for the whole year.

I mean yeah, we follow each other on Instagram and check up on each other, but staying in touch which actually matters where we talk and know what’s going on in each other’s lives and so on.

And that right there was the fascinating part – that it’s okay! That everyone can’t stay in touch with everyone. That maybe you don’t like texting that much and having interrupted conversations over hours which you could’ve done in an hour. That it’s okay to not stay in touch. That maybe it’s okay to meet just once a year and still stay good friends!

For the longest of time, I felt immensely guilty that I couldn’t stay in touch with friends and family over text or calls or video calls etc. And I would try and fail and find it extremely superficial to stay in touch over these mediums….

But over time I realised that for some people texting and calling and video calling works, and for some it may be in-person meetings or long letters or emails. We don’t know what works for whom, it probably comes through a personal discovery, mine did. These messages are more like letter that I write. That’s why they are so long. And a lot of people complain to me, "WHO WRITES SUCH LONG MESSAGES ON WHATSAPP!!". And I’ve just gotten used to saying, it works for me. I wrote a huge 12 page writing letter in 12th standard! I won’t share the reason of the letter, but handwritten, 12 pages is long even for letters. 😛 And to be honest, it gives me kicks to hear back from you who read such long messages and reply back in this world of "short form, binge worthy content".

But sadly our cultural norms make us question our capabilities or try to go towards something that maybe we are not instinctively good at. And we ourselves don’t realize or seek, what our capabilities are, for the longest of time. And so we go through these myriads of feelings like cursing ourselves, feeling guilty, feeling sad, feeling lonely and ultimately impairing us for the long run.

Published in Musings

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